Email: dr.gjl@absamail.co.za
Phone: 012 343 5263

by Linda Greeff

PLWC Director and Ovarian ca survivor

Buddy Meeting Southern Suburbs Cape Town

October 2009

Defining Hope

n  “Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. Hope implies a certain amount of perseverance” (Wikipedia)

n  Hope according to Groopman is the elevating feeling when we see in the mind’s eye, a path to a better future.

n  The St Jude Hope Research Translation Team defines hope as “a personal, comforting and sustaining belief that life has meaning even in difficult times.”

n  “Even a man who finds himself in great distress, in which neither activity nor creativity can bring value to life, nor experience give meaning to it – even such a man can still give his life a meaning by the way he faces his fate, his distress, by taking his unavoidable suffering upon himself.  Life holds a meaning for each and every individual, and even more, it retains this meaning to his last breath.  Life never ceases to have a meaning.”   – Victor Frankl

n  Hope:  “Is a way of thinking, feeling , and acting.  It is a cognitive-affective resource that is a psychological asset.  It enhances quality of life, and it is a prerequisite for taking action.” – Susan C Hedlund & Elizabeth J Clark

n  Hope: “is a multi dimensional dynamic life force characterised by a confident yet uncertain expectation of achieving a future goal which, to the hoping person is realistically possible and personally significant.” – Palliative care

n  Hope: define as expectation and desire.  A feeling of trust. – Oxford dictionary .

n  It is an emotional state and produces motivation to act. When the hope is gone, so is the motivation to act. Hope is referred to in contrast with despair. Hope is essential to life. Without hope we may be overwhelmed by uncertainty and fear.

n  Meaning:  Viktor Frankl described in “Man’s Search for Meaning” – “A man is pushed by drives, but pulled by meaning.”

n  Meaning:  “What is meant by it?” – Oxford dictionary

n  Making sense / finding meaning in what has happened in your life is crucial ingoing forward with hope.

n  Hope is rooted in reality. It acknowledges obstacles and possible pitfalls along the way. It gives us the courage to confront our circumstances and the capacity to surmount it.

n  Hope allows us to assess the problems, challenges and obstacles and through information, guidance and support to choose a possible realistic path for the future.

n  Hope assist us in drawing up an action plan to deal with the cancer crisis

n  Hope doesn’t take away emotions like sadness, fear or anger but allows us to express it more healthily and to look for constructive ways of dealing with the difficulties causing it.

n  Hopefulness is inside each one of us and as everything else can be influenced in a good or bad way.

So What then ?

Arthur Frank in his book “The Wounded Story Teller Body, Illness and Ethics,” published by The University of Chicago press in 1995 provides a excellent context to understand the importance of storytelling (witnessing) as giving voice to the bodies experience that could assist in building hopefulness.

By telling stories people living with cancer are assisted to construct new maps and meaning in their relationship to the world after their diagnoses with cancer and so doing start building hope.

Serious illness threatens the destination map of people diagnosed with cancer, and erodes hope for example:

• They need to learn to think differently to be able to make sense of the experience and to keep on living with the disease in a different hopeful manner.
• They need to live until they die and not die while they are living
• Being a witness to someone else’s story ( Cancer Buddies)allows for the development of sacred space for both the both the listener and the teller, by turning the suffering into a testimony the possibilities of unique outcomes are opened up and this adds richness to the process of sharing for people living with cancer, caregivers and professionals.
• The essence of this process  is not about the truth of the story but the fact that stories are told, shared by people who knows suffering and who care enough to sit alongside someone that is struggling with suffering..

Frank says “ One of our most difficult duties as human being is to listen to the voice of those  who are suffering”

Things that can steal hope

• Cynicism – self, others, media.
• Suffering.
• Loneliness.
• Overwhelming fear
• Constant conflict
• Fear
• Loss of a dream
• Anxiety /tension/stress
• Lack of security
• Depression
• Loss of joy
• Loss of meaning
• Lack of support & caring
• Low self worth
• Uncertainty
• Lack of emotional connectedness

Ways to encourage and grow hope

• Stay in touch with Hope Resources – people / things that positively impact on your sense of hope
• Manage anxiety – relaxation, exercise, a healthy outlet for the anxiety.
• Create and acknowledge sparkling moments.
• Believe in God.
• Develop your spirituality
• Believe in yourself.
• Be an active participant in life – never a victim.
• Keep a journal (written or mental) about the good things in your life.
• Empower yourself with knowledge.
• Add humour to every day.
• Seek and utilize support.
• Trust in the good intentions of others.
• Build healthy relationships.
• Help others (BIG sparkling moments!!).
• Make time for fun activities.
• Connect with your dreams.
• Set achievable goals and celebrate their fulfilment and immediately  add new goals
• Sharing relationships
• Make the ordinary extra ordinary
• Contributing to something  meaningful will develop hope
• Having choices builds hope
• Feeling safe and secure builds hope
• Often time a crisis has the potential to transform your life if you choose to  view it as a challenge to move from mediocrity to a higher-level  of awareness and meaning

Building hope

• It is important to set boundaries on things that steal hope.

• Maintain a sense of wonder in your mind and body .

• In difficult times think about “I wonder what strategy my body and mind will come up with to deal with this  more effective and creatively ?”.

• Implement hope building activities.

• Surround yourself with people that facilitate hope building relationships  .

Ripple effect of a life filled with hope

• Hope helps in creating feel good feelings
• Assists with problem solving
• Builds positive and lasting relationships
• Self esteem is boosted
• More joy is experienced
• Coping ability becomes easier to maintain
• Resilience  becomes more and can be sustained
• Emotional state will be more stable
• Creativity is increased
• Facilitates  openness
• Awareness increases

Aspects to ponder

1. Think of a situation in your life where hope sustained you.
2. Think of a situation in your life when hope was very low and something happened to restore hope again.
3. What happened that restored hope?
4. Think of things in your life that is stealing your hope.
5. What steps are you willing to take to start getting back to the positive aspects of

Conclusion

• Sharing stories repair the damage the illness has done, it redraws the map of our experience  and allows for the identification of new, exciting and meaningful destinations and builds hope .

• The process of taking “stock” of what remains after the “chaos story” of the crisis of the illness provides a way out of the damage wrecked position after the cancer crisis–this actions reaffirms the self and assist the recovery of the self and builds hope.

• Support groups and the cancer buddy program provides a context for sharing and creating meaning, it allows the acknowledgement of suffering and the sharing the meaning making practices and assists in building hope .

• Being a witness to one to the other allows the mutual reflection and reassurance that is needed for resurrecting hope and meaning.

• This process allows reconnection to one’s self and moves away from a thin (diminished) description of self to a thick and rich description that adds meaning to the lives of the storyteller and the witness and rekindles HOPE.

I had to remind myself that I lived through it already. I had known pain, and survived it, it only remained for me to give it voice, to share, for use, of  the pain not to be wasted.” Audre Lorde

Nietze said “ By naming his pain he gave the pain a use that provided an opening for him to others.”

Susan Sontag uses the metaphor of having  dual “citizenship ”in a remission society .

The membership to the cancer remission society does not have permanent passport, they have temporary visas that they renew now and again as they move through the illness experience.

Hope is the stamp of renewal for this visa as we journey with cancer through our lives without it travelling on this cancer journey become impossible.

Our next Buddie get together is taking place om Saturday 4 July 2009 at 14:00. Conference Room, Little Company of Mary Hospital.

Again it will be informal. Come and share and drink a cup of tea!! It was so nice to have you all at our previous get together and get to know you a little bit better.

Our guest speaker will be Linda Strydom from the Zuid-Afrikaans Hospital  -   topic : BIOKINETICS, CANCER AND EXERCISE.

RSVP by the 30 June 2009.

Looking forward to see you again!

Wilma Lotter

Email: dr.gjl@absamail.co.za
Phone: 012 343 5263
Mobile: 082 573 7342